Mammories are made of this...

The Paps of Jura
Originally uploaded by Lidwit.

I have to thank my friend Angie for this one - she sent this through on an email and I just had to share it with you... so with my tongue firmly in my cheek, let's go.

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Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is really no need to worry.

By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.

Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good
measure.

Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect.

Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with
one breast wedged under the rear tyre of the car.

Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is
sufficiently flattened and chilled.

Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do
it again.

CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

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Don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!